My battle with Infertility///Up Close and Personal with an IVF Athlete....Part 2→
Results Day: As I wake up today at 5am to drive to Charleston...I am nervous. Today is the pregnancy test day!!!!! That 2 week waiting period is finally over. If anyone out there ever wondered if time stood still....just find a woman who has gone through the waiting period between her embryo transfer and her pregnancy test.... I am here to tell you that time does stand still...very still.
The first thing I read this morning is this: “Dear God, help me to let go of my need to know what’s going to happen next and trust your plan.” Well, it was not in God’s plan for me to be pregnant. About an hour after I arrived home from my 4 hour trip, the doctor called. “I am sorry to tell you that your results are negative”... I sit there for a second or two, and we continue to talk. I stay strong as the Dr. and I formulate a plan. That is all I know how to do..... I’ve been strong my whole life, I’ve been knocked down a million times and a million and one, I have gotten back up....but this time is different.
Why not me? I ask myself....why are there women out there who don’t deserve or don’t appreciate the children they do have? They don’t take care of them, they live off someone else....so why not me???? I have a supportive husband who loves me more then his own life himself, a family who prayed and supported us through this entire process and friends(and trust me, you find out who your true friends are when you go through something like this) who called, texted, messaged that they cared, prayed and were thinking of us through it all. So why didn’t it happen? It wasn’t in God’s plan.
So this Christmas, we will not celebrate with excitement of bringing a little Armstrong into this world, but we will still try to celebrate.
So now what? For now, I will take one day to feel sorry for myself. I will cry, I will be mad and angry and I will question just about everything.....but tomorrow is a new day. I will get back up, I will fight back and we will begin again.
Plan B: As a couple we will try this again....we will most likely begin the next cycle in January.....so stay tuned...... the Armstrong’s won’t give up. For all of you out there that prayed for us and contacted us....please know that each and every call, text and message meant more to me then you know.... Merry Christmas to ALL of you, and we hope you continue to follow journey if you’d like....
To Be Continued......