My battle with Infertility///Up Close and Personal with an IVF Athlete....Part 11
PART 11: DON'T GIVE UP HOPE:
As I was driving to work this morning, the sun was shining, I had the windows open and the radio turned up. About a mile into my drive, a song came on the radio. It was an insignificant song, but it was a song that was popular last year when we started this IVF journey with the specialist in Charleston. It was a song that I used to hear over and over during my 4 hour drives down and back. I began to reminisce about how long ago that all seems now. Those weekly and sometimes daily trips to the Doctor seem like a lifetime ago. I can't even begin to count the amount of time I spent in the car. I think back on the past year and I realize that every appointment, every mile I drove and every speed bump that was put in my way, was put there for a reason. I began to realize that the accumulation of all of those things are what got us to where we are today! Now, at four months pregnant, it is so easy to forget all of those times. It is so easy to put that all behind me. But I don't want to. I want to remember the struggle. I want to remember the heartache. I want to remember the sad times. It is because of those times that led me on this journey, and created who I am today. It was meant to teach me something. Sympathy? Empathy? Compassion? Maybe all three. You see, it taught me that just because someone appears happy on the outside, you have no idea the battle that they may be fighting on the inside. I hid my emotions fairly well. I continued to smile through the pain and laugh through the tears.
So for any of you out there that may follow my blogs because you are in a similar situation or for any of you that might be able to relate this to another personal situation, I am here to tell you to stop questioning. Stop questioning your worth, your place in life. Stop questioning why God hasn't answered your prayers yet, why he hasn't blessed you with a child. Be patient, I too was in those shoes not knowing why it wasn't "our" time yet. Not knowing if or when I would ever hear someone call me mommy. It happened though, not in my time, not in my husbands time, but on God's time.